Two entries, in one (again).

This is two entries again, in one because I couldn't write one last night.

Anyway, Wednesday 28th September 2011

It was Chris's first day back at work after injuring his back today and me and Niamh had a chilled out day planned. I got up and started to give her breakfast, it would appear that Niamh had other ideas, like, for example, going to sleep sitting up!

So I put her down for her morning nap when she was only part way through her breakfast, I sat down and rested for a bit, and got totally bored. So when she woke up I decided we would go into town for a little while as mum had given us a voucher for a free hot drink at the Mark's and Spencer cafe. So, we headed to M&S and I got a cup of tea and a sticky bun for us to share. She certainly enjoyed it:

I sent my mum this photo to thank her for the voucher, she then told me that she used to take me out when I was little to a cafe and we used to share a sticky bun, and that this photo really reminded her of then. Which is really sweet!

When Chris was off we had bought Niamh a inflatable ball pool for £1 at Tesco, so whilst we were in town myself and Niamh had found her some balls to go in the pit. However, when I got home, I couldn't inflate it so I made her a little pen out of cushions and put the balls in there for her to play with:

Dad came round when Niamh was down for her afternoon nap and bought a sandwich for me. He is trying to speed up Chris's computer and was round to work on it. He played with Niamh for a bit, whilst I rested on the sofa and when he left myself and Niamh had snuggles on the sofa, with her new butterfly:





When Chris got in from work it was tea time, bath time and bed time for Niamhy pants and chill out time for me and Chris. Then had to wait up for Judd to come and pick up our ladder as he couldn't get into his loft at his new house!!!

Thursday 29th September 2011

Chris was on a late today, so woke me when Niamh wanted her breakfast, which was really, really sweet of him, especially as I had to wait up with him for Judd the night before. Once she had her breakfast she went down for a nap and I took the chance to get Chris to help me to wash my hair before he went to work. When Niamh woke up I found her sitting at the end of her cot, attempting to pull herself up, time to lower the cot again I think:

Mum was in town so me and Niamh went to meet her, it would appear that my sending her that photo the day before had made her want to take me and Niamh to the M&S cafe again so we could have a sticky bun hee hee! As we were meeting my sister later, and the weather was good, I made sure that I put her in the little sandals my sister had bought her:





After the cafe we popped to a couple of shops (it's dangerous that all this Halloween stuff is out, makes me want to put everything on Niamh's head):

Then it was back to mum and dad's for lunch with them and Angela and Karl. Niamh played with dad and a sealed can of coke for a bit, really looks like she despairs at something my dad had said:

We had a grill up (mum's healthy version of a fry up) in the garden (good job as the majority of Niamh's food ends up on the floor and she had beans). We all had an ice cream for desert, Niamh made it look like she had grown a beard from all the chocolate! She had to have another sink bath:





Angela and Karl dropped us home and Niamh had a short nap, when she got up though she was really grumpy and clingy. Dad had come back round to finish sorting Chris's computer out and she wouldn't even happily stay with him which was unusual. Chris didn't finish till 7ish so I fed Niamh, bathed her and put her to bed myself. Needless to say I'm completely shattered and very achy so will be lots of pain meds and an early night for me, methinks! Bit fed up, achy and snappy and in quite a bad mood to be honest, o well, tomorrow is another day!

Niamh, naptime and Nando's

This is kind of a combined blog of yesterday's and today's as everything has been so uneventful not to mention how fogged my brain was.

Anyway, when I got up this morning, Chris woke me up to see his:

That, although, very cute somewhat screwed up her naps for the rest of the day. When she woke up, we headed into town. I try and do this a lot as it breaks up the monotony and gives me something to do. I couldn't resist trying hats on Niamh as usual. She looked very cute in a hat with ears:

She clearly liked it too. I, however looked like a plonker in a similar one!

We met dad in Nando's and he kindly bought us lunch, which was very yummy! Niamh had a whale of a time. She had another nap on the way home, and once home there was some playtime. First with daddy on the xbox:

And then one the floor with her toys, and, of course something on her head:

Dad took me to Asda, as I recently discovered they do the baby grows with the sewn on scratch mitts, in ages above 6 months. We have 5, but turns out that's not enough if I can't keep up with the washing so went and bought another 3. Even though they were all boys, and all the same.

Niamh has been off her bottles, and that's worrying me, although she is at the back end of a cold so we'll see. Gave her some puree with her dinner to try and up her intake a bit. So she had a pouch and a half with her dinner, as well as wolfing down her actual food, so worry over methinks!

She had a bath and went to bed, she won't really settle for Chris at the moment, so when he had tried for a bit I went and had a try and she settled fine. Bless her, sometimes only mummy will do.

I got sent a photo from dad the other night, I know I harp on a lot about factime so I thought I would attach this, as scary and embarrassing as it this is me, prating around on facetime with my dad:

Scary I know.

Support? Understanding? Normality? and great great uncle Joe!

I didn't write yesterday as I was still feeling very ill.

I got annoyed yesterday, and couldn't sleep in fact, due to thinking too much, mainly about just how much this one thing annoyed me! In fact, I originally wrote this on my iphone at 1am in the hope that if I wrote it down it would cease to piss me off as much.

Basically, I am a member of a few FM and M.E support groups on facebook, on which I regularly post my blog entries.Appropriate it would seem, given the subject. But it would appear that one such "support" group I have annoyed people by posting them.This, ordinarily, would be fine and perfectly acceptable. However, my blog entries are almost the only posts on it. So I find it hard to work out where the "support" it actually provides is. It is a shame, as I think it potentially could be a big source of support and a community for people with both M.E and FM, but the truth is that it simply isn't.

I have now left the group and deleted all the posts of mine that it would allow me to, as to anger people was defiantly not the point. It can now continue to provide support to people, and I really hope it achieves this goal. As, in my opinion, the support it provided me with in the 2 months that I was a member was, sadly, lacking.

Now I realise that my entries are often pretty damn trivial, but I honestly believe, with every fibre of my being, that if you constantly think/focus/write/talk etc about this disease it only becomes more consuming and depressing. I want my blog to be supportive in terms of you can have this disease and have kids/be happy/live your life. If people fail to see the intended support in that then, that is ok, many have told me they have felt supported and encouraged by it, and that's all that really matters!

Today we went to see my great uncle Joe (Niamh's great great uncle) so it won't be a long entry as travelling really tires me out, more so, it seems with a baby. I was also awake until about 2.30am so that doesn't help either, neither does my stupid inability to sleep in cars!

Anyway, we drove to Kent, then went out for a while then back to uncle Joe's. He has a vegetable patch and grows the BIGGEST onions I have ever seen:

We had a cup of tea and some cakes uncle Joe had kindly made for us, Niamh really enjoyed it!

Once home I rested and together me and Chris gave Niamh her tea and then it will be bath and bed time for a certain pickle. I feel I won't be long after her! Need some relaxation time first though!

Poorly pickle has been sharing again

Well sorry I didn't write yesterday, I'm catching up today instead. Finally worked out why Niamh has been so grumpy lately, she's got a raging cold poor pickle. In fact, the reason I didn't write last night is that she has shared it with me and I spiked quite a high temp last night and had to go to bed. Boo hiss.

Anyways. Before I started feeling more rubbish yesterday we did manage to do some stuff. We went to home plus because we needed more baby milk and food, and had a voucher for £5 off of clothes. We bought me two jumpers and Niamh a cute hoddy and a poncho. Then we went to meet my sister at Starbucks (now theres a surprise), just before we left Angela got Niamh dressed, it would appear that Niamh didn't want to play ball:

Angela came back with us for a while, and played with Niamh, keeping her very entertained. Dad popped round quickly as well before me and Niamh went for a nap. I was trying to rest a bit more as I was supposed to be going out for a meal with my friends last night.

When we woke up, me and Niamh had some more playtime, and I may have put her in the Tesco back from earlier:



Mum came round for a bit as she had had a bad day at work and needed some cheering up, Niamh is very good at that, even if she is grumpy and ill. After mum had a cup of tea and a few cuddles, it was tea time, bath time and bed time for a certain little Niamhy pants. Judd came round to sit with Chris whilst I went out, as Chris is still off work with his back, and can't get Niamh in and out of her cot easily. I was still feeling rubbish, so had a bath and got vaguely dressed to go out. As it turns out, I got to the restaurant, felt even worse, phoned my friends and went home. Took my temperature when I got in and it was 38.8 (whoops!).

This was followed by toast, meds and bed, hence the lack of a blog yesterday!

In my daughter's eyes.

Today was interesting, Chris still off work. He's been advised to go for short walks so we headed off down to Tesco's to get some chicken for tonight's dinner.

When we got back, Chris got down onto the floor to have some play time with Niamh, not easy and, as it turned out, not a good idea. He got stuck. So, in true spirit Niamh decided, pulling his hair was the way to get his attention. She then proceeded to climb on him:

I course, did help him up, but not before taking numerous videos, hee hee! Lucky for me, he saw the funny side! Whilst I helped him up, I put Niamh in her travel cot/play pen, swear she thought it was a cage, because dad came round 5 minutes later and found this:

I wanted to share this picture also, it was taken after lunch, when we were (for obvious reasons) changing her out of her clothes (MESS) I may have put her tights on her head, she may have liked it and defiantly reassembled a very cute, very messy, bunny:



After her afternoon nap (which was only 30 minutes long!), it was time for more play time. This time with saucepan's, bowl's and wooden spoons. She had a great time, and made a lot of noise, but eventually decided that the bowl was much better suited as a hat (probably because it did not make enough noise!):

Due to Niamh's unsettled-ness at night I have be searching the Internet for songs I can sing her as a lullaby as most of my music collection (being rock and metal) isn't really appropriate! I found this, and it's perfect and so beautiful, I just had to share it!

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise, and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I want to be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes
Everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light
And the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me
Gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh, it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hanging on when your heart
Has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes
I can see the future
A reflection of who I am
And what will be
And though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see
How happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

Most song's I read were focused on boy's or were clearly father daughter songs, but this one made me cry when I read it. It's perfect.

Falling shelves and sleep craweling child!

Right, this is yesterday's entry, all in all because it was very eventful.

It was Chris's first day back at work, which I had been very nervous about. Turns out I really didn't need to be, he was working for a grand total of 45 minutes before a produce shelf fell on him and he had to leave work and go to the doctors as it threw his back out. He's been told he may need quite a bit of time off but he's determined to go back by latest of Monday, and is currently taking it day by day hoping to be back sooner. Bless him, he's so good about it, he's more worried about impressing work, and our financial situation than he is about himself. I'm having to constantly remind him that if he goes back too soon and damages it further we are more seriously screwed, not only financially, but me and Niamh are so dependant upon him it would cause us more problems in the long run.

Anyway, after Chris got back from the doctors, I had to wear Niamh in the sling for a bit, I really shouldn't get stressed as I tire so much quicker so to save my energy (and arms) it seemed like a good idea. She did look a bit mis-mashed in all the colours:

To be honest I was pretty shattered for the rest of the day. Not only was I having to do more, due to Chris not being able to, but him being around also seems to create more to do. Niamh is also having more problems with teeth and is very clingy to me. Thank goodness for the sling!! She'll only eat well for me really.

Mum and dad came round for lunch, and to help me out for a bit. I really am lucky to have such a supportive family. Angela came round for a while, although she couldn't stay for lunch. So that we could all eat with Niamh we had a picnic sitting on a shower curtain in the front room (well except for Chris, as there was no way he was getting down there!).



Niamh had ham sarnies, and a few vegetables, most of which ended up in her lap, but she did really enjoy eating with everyone else.

After lunch me and Niamh went for a snugly nap together in my bed. I love this, but my arm goes numb so I don't really sleep well but she does. She wouldn't settle very well. Turns out that wasn't just an afternoon nap issue.

After tea, bath time and bed time we had some real issues. Probably nothing like other babies, I realise I am very lucky with her. Turns out the reason she wouldn't settle is that she was basically moving around everywhere, and trying to crawl in her sleep. This seemed to really freak her out, so after she had spent quite a while crying (and I was sufficiently worried and stressed) I went and snuggled her to sleep and she would nod off and her legs would start crawling against my chest. I worry now though, if this is the only way she will settle then fine, for the moment. I need sleep, Chris needs sleep and, probably most importantly, Niamh needs sleep. I'm very worried about habit forming, because she can't be dependant upon me to sleep in case I'm too ill. O well, suppose I will see what tomorrow brings.

Rolling round town.

This is yesterday's entry as I wasn't up to writing it last night.

It was Chris's last day before he went back to work, and I was still feeling very rubbish after the emotional overload Sunday night. Chris (and Niamh) let me lie in, and I got up shortly before Niamh went down for her morning nap. Whilst she was down I rested and Chris did some cleaning (that I usually try and do at the same time). Which was really lovely of him as I'm completely anal about cleaning, and Chris isn't. I like to do some things daily, and Chris doesn't. I clean things that aren't really dirty sometimes, Chris doesn't see the point. So basically, it's usually me that does the cleaning, Chris will do things if I ask (normally, somewhat begrudgingly) but rarely offers if he doesn't believe it needs doing. But the past few days he's been offering to do things he doesn't really think needs doing, which is so lovely and totally relieves the stress on me.

When Niamh woke we were off to town, to meet Judd and to do a couple of bits (including hopefully get Chris's phone sorted once and for all). Niamh was dressed, it seems, in an overwhelming amount of pink!

She had lots of cuddles with Jud and Chris, and whilst she was hugging Chris is managed to attack the plant behind him, which may now be missing a bit!



After this we went to the O2 shop, where they did manage to explain to Chris how to fix his phone, which he has since done, so fingers crossed. Off to tescos to buy some meat and get stopped my most of Chris's work friends to oogle at Niamh, which is really quite cute, but does mean that we end up being in Tesco much long than planned! Every time!

We had a voucher thing for pizza hut, that you had to take in to be opened and you could win loads of stuff. So it was off to pizza hut for lunch, Niamh enjoyed it, even if we did only win a free portion of cheesy garlic bread:

She made one hell of a mess which Chris kindly cleared up, we didn't think it was fair on the staff to clear up all of that! Whilst he was clearing up Niamh was getting all impatient to get rolling, so to speak!

On the way back Niamh fell asleep on my lap again, but managed to twist her hat around so she looked silly, beforehand:

Funny girl! Later in the afternoon mum and dad came round to play with Niamh for a bit. This was an extra good thing as Chris had to pop out and see a mate who had really hurt himself coming off a bike whilst we were on holiday, and I still wasn't really up to looking after Niamh alone. Mum and dad played silly games with her, and I lie on the floor and watched them play.





At one point, I may have put a washing basket on mums head, which Niamh thought was brilliant:

So then we obviously had to put Niamh in the washing basket, which she clearly thought was even more brilliant:

Then it was bath and bed time for Niamh, she was so good and settled okay even though she had a bad tummy again. Shes been breathing in short little breaths when she gets excited and we think it's giving her wind, more pickle.

 I spent the evening look for more M.E/CFS and FM icons, think I found quite a few! So look out for them at the end of my posts!