Getting better.

Sorry about the lack of blog posts but it's been a hard week. Niamh is still ill but slowly getting better, she is finally eating again although it is more or less just rice and dry toast for now at least. It's been hard seeing her like this and having to rely a lot on my family to help me out when Chris has been at work. She is so good normally and so happy to entertain herself recently she has been so upset so often. She has been crying and basically screaming and I have been unable to calm her quite often. I suppose this is the first time that she has been ill and realised that she is unwell and wants me to make it stop. But I cannot and that hurts me. If she wanted cuddles all the time that would be fine, I could do that, but nothing was calming her. Nothing at all.

This made me worry and obviously stressed me out and as most people who will read this know, stress or anxiety with M.E is a bad plan! It has made me exhausted clearly, and increased my pain levels meaning I have to be more drugged up than I'd like all the time. Dad has had to be round all day everyday that Chris has been at work. Chris has had to take two days off and come home early once, which although helpful does add to my worry. I know that they cannot fire him due to absences incurred through looking after me, as with the disabilities I am classed as a dependant and it therefore goes down as domestic leave. But I do think that it can be held against him in store, that it might hinder his chances of a promotion and maybe cause him to have a verbal or written warning, which in itself would decrease his chances of an in-store promotion. Meaning that as long as I am ill we will never get out of this rut that we are in financially.

Maybe I think too much, maybe I just need to sit back and focus on the the now and get through day by day. I have Niamh, and Chris, my own little family and I am really truly thankful. But I do worry about our future and how we will get by. But I suppose, in the current climate, everyone must. I am lucky to live where I do, in the time that I do. What I have is more than enough, it makes me so happy but I can't help but dream of more. Who doesn't right?

Here are mine and Niamh's 366 photo's from today!

And Niamh, looking (and clearly feeling) a lot better, when dad took us out for a coffee in Starbucks (well I had a coffee, Niamh had a bread stick!)

Night folks!