What's worse? Mental or physical?

Throughout my time with M.E I have almost had every symptom in the book at different points. I was sitting back today and trying to work out which type is worse, the physical or the mental and, if I had a choice which one I would have.

I obviously hate all of them. Being in pain and feeling like crap sucks royally. I think that myself, as with everyone else, I have symptoms that I am better at dealing with than others. I hate being in pain, but to some extent at least I can deal with it or get angry with it, if not I have pain meds to help. The light and sound sensitivity, I can wear eye masks, sunglasses or ear plugs, which makes it all more manageable. The nausea I have tablets for and the exceptionally poor temperature control can be remedied with blankets or fans. The muscle weakness and inability to walk far, I have equipment to help, a walking stick, crutches and a wheelchair. My inability to do too much for myself sometimes, I have things to help me there too, for example a bath lift and perch etc.

In almost all aspects of this disease there is help available, be it equipment or medication, except, that is the mental side. I love reading, I really enjoy it and almost always have a book on the go. I like writing too (obviously) and it really helps the depression that I suffer from associated with this disease, it helps me to rant and rave and get it all down on paper. I like to be organised, I like to have a firm idea in my mind of what needs to be done each day and in what order. And, I like to talk, I talk, A LOT, in fact pretty much constently. The confusion, inability and brain fog that come with this illness, are my WORSE symptoms. Not because they are physically worse than any other but because I, personally feel like I have been robbed of something so important. When I'm having a bad mental time I can't focus, I can't concentrate. I can't read (at all) because by the time I have finished one sentence I have already forgotten it, or the words aren't making any sense or refusing to stay still and running all about the page! I can't write because, even if did, no one would be able to understand it (including me), the only think I can liken that to is trying to write when you are completely wasted, see how much sense that makes the next day! I can't remember what someone has just said to me and have to write everything down, I then often loose this piece of paper or note pad I wrote it down on. Any sense of organisation goes straight out of the window. People can't explain things to me, or have a conversation that makes any sense, I can't seem to remember words that I have known for years, or what I am trying to say comes out backwards or some other demented way round. I spend a lot of my time when I am like this pointing to random objects/people screaming "thingy" until someone tell me what said object is.

I'm not saying that I like being in pain, or not being able to walk far, or not being able to do everything a normal person can do, but I can cope with it better than went I am having cognitive problems. I'm sure it might not be a problem for someone that does not enjoy reading/writing/talking quite as much as I do (and I talk... A LOT!).

I would be interested to see what other sufferers think is worse? Leave me a message on here or on facebook/twitter and let me know how you feel? What symptoms do you find the hardest to deal with?

That's it for now folks, here are mine and Niamh's 366 photo's from today:

And Niamh, who wasn't climbing again.... honest mum!

Night Folks!