The cold weather sucks.

I have been having really bad problems with my joints and bones recently. Because of this I can't go out in the cold if it is at all avoidable as makes everything hurt so much more. So have been stuck in the flat today, which I don't like. I know it sounds silly. But I spent a couple of years house bound and 18 months bed bound and going back there obviously worries me. No matter the state of my health I try to get outside, even if it is only briefly everyday. I just don't want to not feel the breeze and the temperature and see the sun. I get a serious case of cabin fever if I don't have this tiny little outing! How stupid. Problem is, if the news is to be believed, this is the start of a cold snap that could last up to four weeks. I really don't want to be stuck inside for the best part of four weeks! Think that would make me go crazy, even if I knew there would be an end to it! It really is so stupid, especially seeing written down, But it really does make me worry.

I tried to get some cleaning done, but my energy levels are a bit poo and considering I can't really lift things or bend well at the moment it made it a bit complicated. That and, as you all know, I like to save my energy to spend as much time with Niamh, playing with her, or just sitting with her and watching TV. She makes me smile so much. She really is so wonderful. Am really proud of her today actually. We are trying to cut out her night feed as she doesn't really need it anymore. She hasn't been taking much during the day and has been trying to have more feeds at night. Obviously this isn't good. Chris does the night stuff but he has to work so can't be too shattered. We live in a small two bedroom flat but there is no way anyone is asleep if she is awake because you can hear everything going on in the others rooms. So my nights are often disturbed. Not good for an M.E sufferer. So yesterday I did a bit reading up on the best way to do cut her night feed out completely. The best way, it seems is to replace it with water, because after a few nights they don't see the point of waking up for it, and either don't or wake up and go back to sleep quickly without needing any help. Last night, she took the water and went straight back to sleep (with only a few issues because of her teeth but none because of the water). So far today she has drunk both of her bottles, the majority of her first bottle and every single drop of her lunchtime bottle! Hopefully if she fills up on them during the day then she won't want any over night. At the moment she is still having a dream feed just before we go to bed, but we will aim to cut that out in a week or so when hopefully she has decided she no longer needs the night feed. If we can get her to not want the night feed then hopefully we will all be better rested and happier. I might see some reduction in pain and increase in my cognitive ability, that would be nice!

I know that sleepless nights are difficult if you don't have M.E, but I'm sure it's harder if you do as you rely so much on rest. I have to have a rest every time Niamh has a nap. I think some of my friends think its annoying if I do manage to go out but then have to leave early because of Niamh's nap. I sometimes feel that they think that I'm an overly strict mum, but I'm not. It is more because I need the rest. Niamh needs to be in a routine because I need her to be! It is good for her also, don't get me wrong, but if I didn't rest I don't know where I would be. Honestly think I would spiral into a major relapse. I am so glad that Niamh was so easy to get into a routine and that, for the moment at least she appears to be perfectly happy in one. Soon she will want to drop her morning nap. But thats ok. Hopefully she will make it shorter and shorter so that I have time to adjust too.

Niamh was born myself and Chris made the decision that I would take all of my daily medication (excluding pain killers obviously) in the evening, so that any and all side effects would be gone by the morning when I am solely responsible for Niamh. These have to be taken approximately two hours before bedtime so that the sedatives parts have started working by the time I want to go to bed. This, would be when I was out. So I have to take somewhere in the region of 12-20 tablets dependant upon whether or not I have any infections etc, and this means taking them out with me. Then taking them in public (people stare, my friends I'm fine with but other people really do stare!). THEN dealing with the fact that the side effects I experience are hap-hazard, as is the time it takes to start experiencing them. Sometimes the sedatives can begin to take affect within 30 minutes, others it takes the full two hours, occasionally more. They make me go dizzy, wobbly and I often sound drunk. I will giggle and chat non stop, then my legs won't work and eventually I just pass out. Not good if out in public, especially at a pub. What do people think when you sound drunk, wobbly everywhere, fall over and pass out? Not only is it likely to get me thrown out but it's also majorly embarrassing!

On a lighter note, here are mine and Niamh's 366 pictures from today:

And Niamh's, all snuggled after her bath!

I'm going to get an early one as I think I have a cold coming on. Boo! Night all!