Pregnancy, teething and playpens.

Today my friend asked me if she could show someone my blog. This person was a friend of her brothers, was recently pregnant and has M.E/CFS. My friend was hoping I could give her som help and advice. The answer, as always is of course, anything I can do to help someone who is now in the same position as I once was, I only hope other people would do it for me if asked. Have been speaking to her on facebook chat tonight and she seems like a really lovely person. It made me think back to being pregnant, and what I found difficult throughout.

Getting pregnant with Niamh was a complete surprise, I was told that I would not be able to get pregnant on the huge amount of medication I was on. Well, it turns out I could, and did. When I found out I was SCARED, really, really scared. I have always had problems with anxiety and I just fell to bits. Chris had to have time off work, I had to be with someone all the time, was put on more meds and had to see two separte counsellers. In short, it was hard. I was never in any doubt about what I was going to do, I was always going to keep her, it didn't mean that I was suddenly fearless, or convinced that my body would be able to cope. I was frightened that my body would fail, that it would harm the baby, that I would have lots of complications or that I wouldn't be able to come off my meds.

Then at 8 weeks, morning sickness kicked in. I was always completely shattered (more so than usual, obviously), went off tea, didn't want to eat anything, only drank water and felt sick the WHOLE time. Lucky for me didn't actually vomit too many times. I lived on ginger until 16 weeks though!

At 16 weeks she started to move, which was a wonderful, if somewhat odd sensation.By 17 weeks, she was kicking me so hard she had the ability to wake me up from a deep sleep! I clearly spent a lot of my time thinking at the point, thinking about the situation, about my health but mainly, about the future. Up until this point I had convinced myself I was having a boy, not because I wanted a boy but because I really, deep down, wanted a girl. I figured if I prepared myself I wouldn't be disappointed. To be honest, I don't think I would have been, but better safe than sorry.

At my 20 week scan though, we found out we were having a girl, and it was amazing. However, I had such a hard time truely believing it because I wanted it so badly. We named her Niamh and I started secretly referring to her as Niamhy Pants. I was becoming more and more attached to her, and accepting of the situation. We had many more scans due to pregnancy complications (gestational diabeties, placenta previa, small for dates) and each time I was asking them to confirm the sex for me. And still, I felt the need to have a 4d scan when I was 31 weeks pregnant, a birthday gift from my parents and finally, almost absolute confirmation of her sex. They gave us beautiful photos where you could clearly see her face, a dvd and peice of mind. I knew that my health hadn't hindered her in anyway, he growth was on target and my mediciation hadn't harmed her.

At 35 weeks we had a big scare, I started bleeding. Something I had been prepared for since the placenta previa diagnosis at 20 weeks, but this didn't make it easier to deal with. From the moment I noticed the bleed, until we were at the hospital with the CTG (heart monitor) on, she didn't move, which only sought to scare me further. I was in hospital for a weekend, and this, as anyone with M.E/CFS knows is not good for the condition, but I was lucky. Having worked there as a midwife before I got ill, I had written a care plan for just such an event. They took note of every issue, placed me in a side room, with a disabled toilet, dimmed the light, minimised the noise, everything I needed. This made the stay better, although still hellish, it was not a patch on what it could have been!

For the remainder of the pregnancy I was in hospital almost daily for observation (a deal struck in order for me not to have to remain an inpatient) and on bed rest the rest of the time. My blood pressure got quite high, but nothing too serious. Amazingly I made it to my c-section date when I was 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant. The whole experience was brilliant, and, although I had a bit of a bleed it was really fine. I came home the following day and barely took any pain medication (which prompted my midwife to declare I have a high pain threash hold) I just assumed I was used to worse. I recovered quite quickly and my M.E improved a lot from how I had been! So all in all a complicated but ultimatly positive experience. My one complaint is that I didn't glow, I kept waiting for this "pregnancy glow" that people get and it just never happened.

I hope this helps anyone who may be in the pregnancy situation now, or who is hoping to be!

Niamh is still being grumpy because her teeth are still hurting, but you can see them coming through bless her. Really looks like it hurts.

We went to my parents today so dad could look at some appeal forms for us. My parent's have hard wood floors so we put her travel cot up and sat her in it with her toys to play. She LOVED it, which is brilliant because I can't always get to her fast enough (with my sometimes limited movement) when she looks like she might fall over. So this fixes that problem! Here is a pic of her in it playing away!

Anyway, I'm going to disappear as I'm not officially completely shattered, too much writing. If anyone is still reading this (and I haven't bored you all to sleep) then thank you for reading. Goodnight!