Emotional overload.

I am a seriously over emotional person, I always have been, as long as I can remember. I cry, I'm a crier, that's what I do. If I'm angry, I cry, if I'm sad, I cry, if I'm stressed, worried anxious, cry, cry, cry! As I said in my previous blog, I got VERY upset last night. There were moments I couldn't stand properly, moments I was fighting to catch my breath. I knew emotion makes me M.E flare, and I was really worried about how much. It wasn't what happened that would make me ill today, it wasn't that I got upset, it was how upset I allowed myself to get, when, to be perfectly honest, the situation didn't really call for that amount of emotion, everything from a while just got really on top of me.

That said, although I have felt horrid all day, it was not nearly as bad as I was fearing it would be last night. Chris is still off work until Wednesday (thank goodness) and let me lie in (until Niamh banged her head and scared him and he wanted me to check her over). She was fine. I got up and rested on the couch, and yes, there were moments in the day when I struggled to stand, or to lift my head without getting seriously dizzy but I could function. I couldn't have looked after Niamh by myself today though, so have to be more careful in future not to let my emotions over take me like that. I think it has frightened me into being more careful as I spent a lot of time today remembering how ill I have been and working out ways to do everything in my power to prevent a further relapse (not that I wasn't before, just more so now).

I even managed to take a short trip to Tesco with Chris to do some food shopping as we emptied our fridge before we went on holiday. I did kind of regret this when I got back, and was probably a proper grump to Chris as the shopping trip progressed and I got more and more tired.

At the beginning of the trip Niamh stole my wheelchair:

I pushed myself round the store because we had to get a trolley (the wheelchair attachable ones don't really have room for a child to be on your lap, at least not one that likes to throw everything she can reach on the floor!). This is probably one of the pain reason I tired so fast, and that my wrist joints are now seriously achy! Niamh loved being in the trolley though!!!

But the shopping trip must have exhausted her too as she fell asleep on the way home, very cute, but all the warm and snuggly-ness made me extra sleepy:



When we got back, my dad came round and played with Niamh whilst I rested and Chris put the shopping away and made lunch. After I had Niamh I had put on a bit of weight and went on the slimming world diet (recommended by my GP) to loose it, I lost 3 stone and my health improved. I'm beginning to think that what I was eating played a big part in that, unfortunately it is expensive to eat fresh food all the time. But when we were away Chris decided he too wanted to get healthier and fitter so we decided we would both go back onto it, and we would find ways to do it for cheaper together. So for lunch he made as a healthy spag bol, which because of what was in it, Niamh could have some too! Although I'm not totally convinced she really knew what to do with it:

Niamh had her afternoon nap and I tried to rest (no luck there) so when she woke up Chris took her out for a walk in the hope that I would be able to get a bit of sleep. Once again, no such luck, but I did have a good rest though! I think I was finding it hard because my light sensitivity has been playing up and even with the curtains shut and living permanently in sunglasses it's still painful! ARGH!

Mum came round after work to see Niamh for a bit and use my parking space for her beauty appointment. Was nice to see her. She sat and played with Niamh for a while, with a washing basket. I mean seriously, she has SO many toys but she spent a good half hour just playing with this washing basket! Go figure!

Her dinner wasn't very interesting, cheese spread bagel and assorted fruit and veg in fact. While she was eating I face timed my dad, and switched the camera so he could see her. She started falling asleep in her highchair! Bless!

I've spent sometime recently thinking about this illness, my experience of it, both past and present and peoples reactions too, and understanding off it . For this reason I'm going to end this entry with a video, instead of a picture. Nothing I have ever seen does a better job of explaining the aliments that people with this disease suffer through.